Thursday Thoughts: Hospitality...

I'm going to be ambitious and do something every Thursday called "Thursday Thoughts". Maybe its not actually ambitious because it can be about whatever I want since its just my thoughts. I guess I'm just committing to using the same blog title every week and that's not ambitious at all except that it means I have to have at least one blog post every week and it will happen on Thursday. I'm sure you're all super excited about that now that I've over-explained for a full paragraph. 

Anyway... to kick it off I'm focusing on hospitality. I love having people in my home. As a certified introvert I prefer small groups and what could be better than hand-picking the group of people you will be hanging out with in that small group. I like the IDEA of going to gatherings at other places and I love being invited to things, but it always brings up some anxiety and then I turn into a wallflower at the actual event and forget how to make all the mouth sounds. When I go TO a gathering I always end up hovering around the food or playing with the dog in the corner. Having people in MY home is my jam.

Hospitality seems to be a dying art. Jim has an old recipe book that belonged to his Grandmother and it details several dinner parties, luncheons, and other events that she hosted complete with menus, seating arrangements, and table decorations. She was an artist so she even doodled in the book to make notes about how everything should be laid out on the table. I have gone through that book over and over because its a wealth of information about showing intentional hospitality. She thought about what would make her guests feel taken care of and loved by way of the food she prepared and the table she set and the flowers she used as centerpieces. That's what I want, too.

I love the note that this friend included inside the recipe book when gifting it to her "very cherished friend". What a gift to be considered "altogether lovely."

These newspaper clippings with hostess tips are classic. Instructions for the maid...

A couple of luncheon menus. The centerpiece for the top gathering was to be red roses & yellow narcissus. So lovely. There were also several pages of lunch menus that were hosted for the "Club Girls." That made me so happy to know she had some "girls" that were a regular part of her life. I can just imagine them sipping coffee and chit chatting in the parlor.  

This page brought some confusion because Jim's grandmother's name was Lucille, so we wondered if originally this had belonged to his great grandmother and was then passed down to his grandmother. I would dearly love to know what the announcement had been... engagement, baby on the way, sweet 16/coming out party??? Regardless, its so wonderful. Please note that in the middle of the page it says the butter was to be made into roses.

It's interesting to me that having people over has become so important to me because it wasn't something my parents did much as I was growing up. We had family over for holidays, but my parents didn't host dinner parties or invite their friends into our home frequently. Coming of age in the Martha Stewart era opened my eyes to the details of hostessing, and I can get all up in some details. Intricately folded cloth napkins - yes. Fun table runners - yes. Place cards - yes. Centerpieces - YESSSSSS. All of those details can send me into a black hole of hostessing. I want my guests to feel loved and cared for just like Jim's grandmother did and sometimes I end up thinking more details = more love. Usually it only = $$$ and scrambling at the last minute because I fail to take into account how long it actually will take to implement all the details.

I think Martha Stewart Living Magazine (MSLM) was the precursor to Pinterest. I had a subscription to MSLM when I was in college. Talk about uncool. But, I saved every single issue for years and dog-eared the pages with centerpiece ideas I liked, sample menus (even though at that time I had no clue how to cook anything), theme ideas, table decor, invitation samples, etc. I will admit that some of my early attempts at hospitality fell flat because I forgot to focus on the people and got too wrapped up in the details. Prior to one particular party I hosted, I cooked and cleaned myself into pure exhaustion and was completely unable to truly enjoy the party itself. My house was clean and the food was great, but I was so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open. I've learned to let some of those details go.

Way back in 2011 I read a blog post by Lisa-Jo Baker over at (in)courage about Hospitality. Her words have resonated with me ever since. 

"Big hospitality is a matter of the heart and not the architecture."

 One of the commenters on that post broke down the difference between hosting and showing hospitality and I loved it. She said "Hosting is look at me and what I have and have done. 

Hospitality is look at how the Lord has blessed me, please let me share with you."

This is the whole crux of the matter. Being a blessing. I want people to feel loved when they enter my home and even more loved when they leave.

Over the last 10 years or so we've hosted dinners, brunches, parties, wine tastings, book clubs and bible studies in our home. The whole "matter of the heart and not the architecture" thing struck a cord with me because we do not have a big home perfectly set up for entertaining. We have a 2 bedroom, 1 bath bungalow. Our kitchen is a decent size, but the size is fairly irrelevant when you consider the fact that it was last updated in the 1970s and there is barely any usable counter space. Even still, I've made a lot of food for people I love in that kitchen and I'm so thankful that I didn't let the architecture keep me from having people in my home.

Jim and I are part of an awesome Supper Club. Five couples around the table every could of months for some awesome conversation. Perfection. We rotate the hosting duties and the first time we hosted Supper Club at our house I went straight to Jim's grandmother's old recipe book for inspiration. I wanted to create the whole menu from her recipes and it was so awesome paging through the different options. I ended up making stuffed pork chops, but came so close to trying the Jellied Tuna, just because it sounded so disgusting.

These pork chops were DELICIOUS!! 

I LOVE that this is written on the inside of an old envelope. My grandmother used to do the same thing. 

The dinner that night was great, but more than anything I loved having everyone in our home. In a larger sense, the individuals and couples we collectively share a table with become a special part of who we are. There's something sacred about breaking bread together. I am obsessed with Shauna Niequist's book Bread & Wine. In the introduction she wrote,

"What makes me feel alive and connected to God's voice and spirit in this world is creating opportunities for the people I love to rest and connect and be fed at my table. I believe it's the way I was made, and I believe it matters."

After I read that, I underlined it and wrote out in the margin "Me, too!!!" because I truly feel the EXACT. SAME. WAY. About two years ago, I was wrestling with something I thought maybe God was wanting me to do. I wasn't sure if I was hearing him right and I wasn't sure if I was willing to step out on faith just yet and then he spoke deep into my spirit and assured me by showing that He had already set the wheels in motion and all I had to do was open my door to the people around me. All I had to do was share my love with others and invite people in. Literally. So, I did. And I haven't stopped. And it's been such a blessing. Amen.

H-E-I, N-D-L

So, the title of this blog is Heindl Haven. Heindl is my last name. And, no one knows how to spell it. I may have made a mistake in choosing a blog title that no one can spell. Please take a moment to bookmark this site, or you can subscribe via email so you never have to try and find it on your own again. Don't we all need a little helping hand from time to time?

I know with all certainty that people have a hard time spelling the name Heindl because for several years now I have been keeping a list of all the various spellings I've seen. That's about the nerdiest thing I've ever typed, right there. Actually, its a cute little thing my mother-in-law and I started doing years ago. She sends me any new ones she sees and I add it to the list.

Every time I have to give my last name I spell it out... H-E-I, N-D-L. Inevitably, the person I'm spelling it for will add an "E" somewhere at the end. D-E-L or D-L-E and then I have to correct them that its just D-L. I've had a couple of people question whether or not I was sure it was correct with just D-L. Ummmm... yes. I'm sure I know how to spell my last name.

So, for your viewing pleasure, here is the comprehensive list of all the wrong ways to spell Heindl.

1. Heindel (SEE! The aforementioned D-E-L!)
2. Jeindl (Fancy with a "J"!! After this one I started telling people to call me JJ - Jennifer Jeindl. I do love me some alliteration!)
3. Hyndel (ooooooooh a "Y" AND the D-E-L.)
4. Hiendl (So close with the ei reversal.)
5. Heindle (There's that D-L-E.)
6. Hiendel (we're getting further and further away here.)
7. Hindyl (Drop the E and add a stray Y.)
8. Hindle (Move the E to a new spot!)
9. Hengel (The "G" in this one was a new twist.)
10. Hyndyl (Two Ys feels very exotic.)
11. Engle (I feel like this person wasn't even trying.)
12. Linda Kurniawan (This one wasn't actually a misspelling of my name, but I put it on the list because it made me laugh. The local ice cream place, Graeter's, has a rewards card and when you get 100 points on your card you get a coupon for $5 off your next purchase. Well, we went to the drive thru one day to get ice cream for the family and we reached 100 points so they gave us a receipt with our $5 coupon on it. Except that the name on the reward account on the receipt was Linda Kurniawan and not Jennifer Heindl. I didn't notice it until we had driven away and it made me laugh and laugh to think that they messed my name up so badly that it wasn't even close. Maybe what made it so funny to me was that for a long time I would get my receipt from them and it would say Jem Heindl. Which made me think of Jem and the Holograms and how truly outrageous she was. And I loved that cartoon when I was younger and always wanted to be her. And here I was being called Jem. And then I logged onto my rewards account and fixed it one day because I worried I might be denied my ice cream due to my account being titled Jem and not Jen. This probably isn't funny to anyone but me. I'm so sorry. But, the person I really need to apologize to is Linda Kurniawan because I used her $5 coupon. I'm so sorry Ms. Kurniawan. Your next scoop is on me! Moving on...)
13. Handhl (This feels like I should be a composer.)
14. Heildl (An extra L. Interesting.)
15. Heindi (Makes me think of Heidi.)
16. Heinvil (We could be anvil salespeople.)
17. Heind (This feels like a kick in the pants. Or at the very least a kick in the heind end. This post is really going south. Oh my gosh, I can't stop myself.)
18. Klausing
19. Hamilton
20. Gillespie (these last three probably aren't true misspellings of Heindl, but we have received mail at our home address with the correct first name and correct address, but the last name was one of these. So random. It always brings a smile to my face when I think of my husband as Jim Gillespie. So, so random.)

As I was typing up this post I thought, "I wish I had a piece of mail to take a photo of that showed our name misspelled to prove that it really does happen." There was a stack of mail from the day before sitting on the desk next to me, so I decided to check it. Sure enough. There was a misspelling. 

Taking the Plunge

My oldest daughter, Audrey, teaches me a lot of things. Last summer, the two of us were at the swimming pool for a party with all the other kids from our church. She was merrily jumping off the diving board with abandon. Both the high and low dive. She and her friends were like a row of ducklings jumping into the water one after another. Time and time again they jumped into the water, swam to the ladder, climbed out and got back in line to jump again.

I was over on the other side of the pool deck sitting under the shelter chatting with another mom that I don't get to talk to very often. I was wearing my swim suit but I didn't plan on actually getting in the water. Audrey is a good swimmer and has spent every summer since birth in the pool at her Nana's house. I didn't need to hover and I definitely didn't need to keep watch over her while IN the pool.

After 45 minutes or so of jumping off the diving board, Audrey started toward me. She was dripping from having JUST climbed out of the water yet again. When she got over to me she paused briefly and then said, "I want you to jump off the diving board with me."

I'm sure every mother (every parent for that matter) has those moments where time sort of stops after your child asks you a question and you know that the answer you give is an important one. At that moment, I felt like my answer would be important. I tend to give a lot of answers like "maybe tomorrow" or "I'm not sure" or "next time." But, I could see in her eyes that she really wanted me to jump off the diving board that day. Right then. And there really wasn't any good reason for me to say no. So, I jumped. And I'm so glad that I did.

The lesson... 

When your baby girl asks you to jump off the diving board, don't say "next time." 

There might not be one.

Stay on the Platform

That time I didn’t follow my own advice…

Last fall I hosted a book club to read and discuss Jen Hatmaker’s latest book, For the Love. It was such an awesome time reading and laughing and thinking and considering and challenging and all that fun stuff. The book is awesome. If you haven’t read it, go order it now. If you’ve never heard of Jen Hatmaker, click over to her website, Twitter page, Insta account and read everything. I’ll wait…

Anyway, as part of the book’s launch, Jen did a video each week for four weeks talking about a section of the book and answering questions. During week two an awesome question came in that asked Jen how to handle teenagers and their particular brand of crazy. If you want to see Jen’s response, which is so brilliant, watch the video below. This question and Jen’s answer come in at the 17 minute mark if you want to go straight to the point of this blog post.

So, basically, Jen suggests that we let our kids go crazy, but we wisely keep ourselves from engaging in the crazy with them. Don’t let them drag us into the crazy. Stay planted on the platform while they take a trip on the crazy train and wait for them to get back. I don’t have teenagers, yet. I have a 10 year old, an 8 year old and a 1 year old. So, my thought was, “Well, when they meltdown I just won’t get all wrapped up in the emotion of it. I will remain calm. I’m an adult. I can do that. It will be so easy. It’s a revelation. I should share this wisdom with everyone in the book club because it will change my life and it will surely change their lives, too.”

Some of my book club girls and my favorite part of the introduction from For the Love.

The next time we met for book club I had the video all cued up to show my friends and we talked about it afterward and it was lovely. That night I was still thinking about this revolutionary advice and how I was now equipped to handle any highly charged situation with my kids. But, as I sat next to my husband on the couch I thought I should share the video with him. He needed this wisdom as well (even though he’s much better in general at not engaging in the crazy and staying on the platform). I was sure he would be so grateful for this enlightenment. He watched the 4 minute clip with one eye on the football game. He didn’t laugh at Jen’s humor because he’s a guy and whatever. But, he knew it was important to me, so he put on a good show of being interested and was mostly convincing.

I went to bed feeling very smug and self-assured because this one nugget of parenting wisdom was going to change everything. THE. VERY. NEXT. MORNING. my husband witnessed me not only buckling myself onto the crazy train but he also saw me figuratively dragging our child with me onto the ride. My CHILD was not the one to lose it first. He didn’t melt down… It was ME. As Jen Hatmaker would say, I "lost my crap" and the worst part was that it wasn't over something big. It was over a Scholastic book order form and the child holding the book order form was mercilessly hauled off the platform and onto the ride. I saw it happening, but the train was already pulling away from the platform. The best I could hope for was to keep my arms and legs inside the car at all times.

What in the world is wrong with me?? First of all it was 7:50am, we had to leave for school in 5 minutes and I hadn’t had enough coffee. In all seriousness, it’s like praying for patience. You know you’ll get a chance to practice your patience real quick when you ask God to give you some. I think I responded to the idea of Jen’s advice so eagerly because I knew it was something I struggled with. When my kids push my buttons, I get worked up more quickly than I do with any other person in my life. But the kicker was that it wasn't my kid who was pushing my buttons. He just wanted me to buy him a book. Sure, he waited until the last possible minute to remind me of the book order form, but its my job as a parent to handle those situations with some finesse. It could have become a "teachable moment" for him about responsibility, but instead I was the one who was taught. At the first test of my new wisdom, I turned the tables on myself and I was the one who lost it and acted crazy – in front of my whole family. Nice.

You know what they say, the first step is admitting you have a problem. My husband called me later that afternoon to ask me how I was feeling after my ride on the crazy train. The good news is that I could recognize that it was happening. I didn’t do anything to stop it in that moment, but I knew it was happening. And, the great news is that I’ve done a better job since then. I’ve started to realize what triggers my reactions. When I start to step off the platform and get on the crazy train, I can more and more easily pull my foot back and plant it on the platform (usually). Maybe we can talk here in the Haven about what sets us off one of these days.

My advice to you… don’t let the book order form get the best of you.

P.S. The super cute woman in the video with Jen Hatmaker is her friend Jamie Ivey who also happens to have an awesome podcast called the Happy Hour (and Jen has joined her on three episodes of her podcast). I have LOVED every episode of the Happy Hour and highly encourage you to check it out.

I'm blogging! Ready? OK!

So, this blog is a new venture, but writing is not. I have always enjoyed writing. (Side note - I did not claim any excellence in writing. I said I have always enjoyed writing. Please don't crucify me for grammatical or spelling errors... there are bound to be some.) In middle school I had to start writing reports and one teacher in particular gave some great feedback. He thought my writing content was good, but, apparently, I kept switching up the tense of my verbs (past, present, future tense). It had never occurred to me to proofread my writing for verb tense agreement, but after that I started seeing ways to improve and make changes and reword things. It was like my eyes were opened to being intentional about what I wrote.  

At one point I thought I would be a career newspaper journalist. I even studied it in college for a while and wrote for the Ball State Daily News (one of few daily college newspapers in the country). But writing for a newspaper is hard work, especially for an introvert like me. Back in the dark ages when I was in college, email existed but it wasn't yet a means for regular communication. You still had to call people and talk on the phone if you wanted to get in touch with them. Thinking about that now makes me want to put a hot poker in my eye. Chasing people down for interviews using the phone and leaving messages was so painful. The writing pace at a daily paper was fast and it exhausted me before my freshman year was over. The idea of becoming a newspaper journalist quickly lost its luster.

As the years of adult life rolled by, I have had the opportunity to write here and there for various jobs (newsletter here, church bulletin there, admin for social media accounts, etc.) but nothing that gave me an opportunity to write my thoughts and feelings. I've tossed around the idea of blogging for a LONG time (like YEARS), but it always seemed like there would be a reason NOT to do it.... market is saturated, no time to write, nothing to write about, no one would read it, what if people that do read it end up hating it, etc. Recently, I read something that Lysa Terkeurst posted on Instagram...

"There's enough space for all of us to thrive in our gifts. Whether you paint, do lettering, take photos, sing, write, speak, dance, decorate, give fashion advice, or any other artistic expression... Do you? The world needs your brand of beautiful. And the world needs the best version of you. Don't listen to the enemy's wicked whispers. The enemy wants you to feel threatened, suspicious, and skeptical. Resistant to cheer another on who does the same thing as you. But here's what I know for sure. When we don't love and cheer on others, we start to shrink. We have less to give. We hold back. And we become wilted and withered. It's in the cheering on of another that we ourselves bloom and blossom and show we can be trusted with more beauty."

When I read her words, I realized that it didn't matter if I developed a big following or if people validated the content or style of my writing. My soul wanted to write and create something and I needed to honor that. I mulled it over for a little while longer and when it really became something I was seriously considering I asked my husband what he thought. He was immediately supportive and immediately excited. He didn't hesitate for one moment to think about it (maybe in retrospect he wishes he had!) But, I was so thankful that he understood my heart's longing to express something outside our small little world.

I forgot my phone at home the other day when we we were at my mom's house, so I asked my husband to use his phone to check on something. When I tapped to pull up a new Safari page, I saw the screen where his bookmarked websites were listed and there on the screen was my blog. I hadn't even posted anything yet and was still trying to figure out how to set it up and my husband had already bookmarked my blog site and was ready to follow along. The knowledge that he had done that blessed me so much.

Just like Lysa said, don't we all want a cheerleader? Someone who will be up in the stands and watch intently and cheer us as we run the race. Someone who is there before the race starts to pump us up and give us words of encouragement and then be there after the race is over to high-five us when we've set a personal best (or won the race!) or hold us close when we've lost by a mile and feel like a complete failure. (Please don't mistake this metaphor to mean that I'm a runner. I am not. The end. I just thought the running analogy made sense.)

I am so blessed to have a handful of cheerleaders in my life. My husband is #1. My mom is another. And I have some dear, dear friends who will cheer me on for all of my races. Sandy has been my cheerleader specifically as I start this blogging/writing journey. The tricky part about having a cheerleader is that, then, its a blessing for my cheerleaders if I will cheer for them in return. But, sometimes I forget that it's not all about me and act dumb.

For example, I have a super awesome cheerleader friend, Su, who never fails to get excited about my stuff, but when she announces something new in her life, all I can think about is how that might impact me and how it might change things in our friendship. I am so dumb. On more than one occasion I have had to apologize to her for being dumb. Thankfully, I can SEE how dumb I am because she has so often been my cheerleader. If I didn't have any cheerleaders in my life I wouldn't be able to see how self-centered I was being and I would COMPLETELY miss the opportunity to support my friends and family in their dreams and new adventures. At least I can go back after apologizing for being dumb and be a cheerleader! Lysa said, "It's in the cheering on of another that we ourselves bloom and blossom and show we can be trusted with more beauty." Baby steps. Self-awareness is a key part of adulting and IT. IS. HARD.

So, I'm trying to see the opportunities to be a cheerleader when they rise up in front of me. I would hate to look back on my life and think I had left someone running along the track all alone when I could have made their day by waving my pom poms and jumping up and down with excitement for them. (Have I taken this cheer leading metaphor too far???) Did I mention I was an actual cheerleader in high school. No? Well, I'm off the basement to dig out my pom poms.

On field trips and laying on the floor...

Is it just me or does it seem like our elementary aged kids go on a lot of field trips these days? I can’t recall going on more than one each year as a kid, and, honestly, I don’t even remember what they were. Must have been riveting. But both of my elementary school aged kids have gone on no less than 4 field trips each year! Don’t get me started on nickel and diming me for bus fees every time one rolls around (pun intended)… why can’t that money be built into the “fees” I pay when school starts each year????

Anyway, all of these field trips are both a blessing and a curse. Our particular elementary school pretty much lets any parent who wants to, be a chaperone for a trip. So, when our son, who is our oldest, had his first field trip in Kindergarten (I can’t remember where we went – the zoo maybe – am I blocking out field trip memories on purpose???) and there was nearly one adult for every child on the trip I laughed out loud. I guess all parents want to chaperone the first field trip. So, basically, I paid money to walk my son around the zoo (which I already have a membership for) on a weekday.

In the years since, I decided I would chaperone ONE field trip each year. And, I would try NOT to do the art museum field trip because you know what’s not a fun time??? Telling 6 year olds not to touch the priceless artwork 85 times in 15 minutes. That’s a day when you better make sure you bring your "A" game because, sure, they have a very lovely retiree docent who walks them through the exhibit and tells them stories and asks interesting questions, but the guided tour ends and then there is still an hour of “explore the museum on your own” time and I’m fresh out of ways to make art seem super exciting after the first 10 minutes.

So, here we are in 4^th grade with our oldest and there’s a BIG field trip in 4^th grade at our school – an overnight at the zoo. Again with the zoo! This is the school’s 3^rd visit to the zoo in 5 grades. I smell a scam and I think I’m the one getting the raw end of the deal. I had been warned by those moms who had gone before me that the zoo overnight is not for the faint of heart. You have to spend the night laying on the floor (notice I did NOT use the word “sleep”) and there are supposedly roaches crawling around the rooms where you “sleep”, and its 18 hours with hordes of stinky 4^th graders. You know when kids start to stink? 4^th grade. You know what’s not a high priority for 4^th graders? Hygiene.

All that to say, I had already mentally decided that I was NOT going to sign up to chaperone the zoo overnight trip. I would gladly NOT check that box on the permission form and send my dear son off to sleep with the wolves, or manatee or whatever species they were studying in science. THEN, my son came home from school one day and PLEADED with me to chaperone the zoo overnight trip. This is the child who has NEVER asked me to chaperone a field trip. A boy of very few words. A boy I sometimes feel like I have trouble connecting with. A boy who will very soon morph into a man and I will find myself wishing I had chaperoned the zoo overnight field trip. Maybe that’s overdramatic. Maybe not. I also have a 1 year old so I feel like my perspective has changed since she was born.

So, I checked the box and paid my money and got drawn out of the hat to chaperone the trip. (As luck would have it, this particular field trip was not a “come one come call” chaperone opportunity. Only 6 parents from each class were chosen. There are apparently lots of us who are dumb enough to sign up, so they have to draw out of a hat. I, of course, was chosen as one of the six. Sort of smacks of The Hunger Games doesn’t it?)

The day of the overnight came and we arrived at the zoo at the appointed time of 6:45 pm with a cooler for snacks and lunches for the next day, toothbrushes and toothpaste, sleeping bags and pillows. The end. No pajamas or extra clothes. We were told to sleep in our clothes and just keep them on for the next morning (yoga pants anyone???).  The packing list was so short and finite that I was scared to pack anything else. I’m 39 years old and I was afraid of getting in trouble by the teacher if I packed my face wash. The most disturbing part was that there was no mention whatsoever of packing food for breakfast. We were told to pack a snack for that evening and lunch for the next day. What I’m really saying is that there was no mention whatsoever of coffee. I couldn’t imagine laying on the floor all night in a room full of 4^th grade boys and not having coffee at the end of the tunnel. Forget light, I need coffee.

The teachers divided us into groups and I was given charge of my son and 3 other boys. Our group was paired with 2 other groups and we set off for a guided tour of the insect and nocturnal animal houses. Our tour guide, Christen, was really great – very enthusiastic and extremely knowledgeable. She even got us chaperones asking and answering questions. At the end of our tour we got a ‘behind the scenes’ peek at the kitchen where they prepare the food for the nocturnal house animals. One of the items she showed us was mealworms. She offered any kid with a chaperone present or anyone over 18 the opportunity to eat a mealworm. I knew my son wouldn’t want to eat one, and none of the other adults wanted to do it, so I volunteered. I think my son was horrified, but I figured I wouldn’t have the chance to both gross out and enthrall a bunch of 4^th graders any other time. It kind of reminded me of that show Fear Factor. Anyway, the mealworm was so small that it didn’t have any flavor at all.

After the tour we went back to the zoo’s education center and had a snack and one of the boys in my charge started crying. Good times. Then we got to see 4 different animals up close. Then it was very late – like 11:00 pm late - and we were divided up into “sleeping” rooms for the night. Our room actually settled down pretty quickly, but sleep evaded one of the boys for quite a while. He kept scooting around the floor in his sleeping bag and poking the other boys. Eventually I had to get up and pull his sleeping bag (with him inside it) back to his original spot so we could all get some “sleep”. Side note – I did not encounter any cockroaches outside of those we saw behind glass in the insect house.

When morning came I found that there was indeed coffee. It was not the perfectly brewed cup from freshly ground beans that my husband prepares for me each morning, but after a long night, I was not about to complain. In fact, I cut in line in front of about 50 4^th graders to get to the coffee. Why would they put the coffee at the end of the line???

The zoo has a pretty cool bird show in the summer months, so they did a mini version of that for us in the auditorium after breakfast and then we had about an hour of free time to check out other animals at the zoo. There’s a whole new Africa exhibit in our zoo and so we wanted to check that out. We had just the right amount of time (I’m looking at you Art Museum with your WAY TOO LONG “explore on your own” time) before meeting up with everyone for lunch and loading up for home.

My boy feeding a giraffe.

The kids were dismissed for the day after lunch, so we had the rest of the afternoon free before the other 2 kids came home. We had to run to the grocery store for 1 thing before collapsing on the couch back at home. As we walked through the parking lot toward the door of the grocery store, my son took my hand in his. 

And we held hands all the way through the store. 

And that was worth every minute of lost sleep the night before.

These are a few of our Favorite Things - 2012

For the last several years I have hosted a Favorite Things party. The first year I did it because it seemed like a fun idea and I'd seen it floating around on Pinterest. Then, it was so fun and everyone loved it, so I did it again the next year. Then, it became a "thing" and people started asking me in the early fall about that year's party. So, its become an annual tradition for about 15 of us. One year we had an early snowstorm the night of the party and I had people walking in the snow for over a mile to get to my house because driving wasn't recommended. Crazy!

If you're not familiar with the Favorite Things Party concept, here's the deal:

Each person brings their favorite thing (anything you like... your favorite lip gloss, kitchen tool, gift wrapping supply, gift card for coffee, etc.). It can't cost more than $6 and each person brings 5 of that favorite thing. Everyone's name goes into a hat 5 times at the beginning of the night. Everyone draws 5 names out of the hat (making sure you don't have any duplicates and you don't get your own name). You each have a chance to tell everyone about your favorite thing and then you give the 5 items you brought with you to the 5 names you drew from the hat. Everyone will go home with five new favorite things to keep for themselves! 

Here are the items that we shared in 2012... (You can also click over to see the posts with our items from 2015, 2014 and 2013.)

Me - For the local coffee drinkers, I HIGHLY recommend visiting Carabello Coffee in Newport, KY. Justin & Emily Carabello hae this great little coffee shop but its about so much more than awesome coffee. Its "Coffee & Compassion in Tandem". They roast their own beans which have been grown and harvested ethically and purchased via Fair Trade. Then, a portion of their profits go back to support local nonprofit organizaitons through fundraisers, 2 children in Rwanda via Compassion International and an orphanage in Nicaragua. I chose to give small bags of Carabello Coffee in their Tres Fincas blend as my Favorite Thing in 2012. As of 2015 we are still supporting Carabello via our coffee habit!

Sandy - Essie brand nail polish. Essie has tons of fun colors and its not super expensive.

Stephanie - Method Bathroom Spray cleaner (smells so good it ALMOST makes you want to clean the bathroom - however I've had this same bottle since I got it at the party in 2012, so that tells you how often I ACTUALLY want to clean my bathroom). Stephanie also gave us Extra Gum.

Sushannah - a half bottle of champagne to make any old weeknight feel like something special with your spouse - or just for you! I LOVED this idea. The Hahns did a weekly champagne night in the middle of the week for a while and it seemed like such a great idea for other couples to try! Love that she shared it!

Susan - TAZO Awake Tea (she drinks this instead of coffee in the morning and its a great pick-me-up).

Erin - Brookside Dark Chocolate Pomegranate These are so good... tart, sweet, delicious. They have a mini bags at the checkout at our Target and that's a dangerous impulse purchase since I'm at Target almost every day. She also gave us these Olive Oil Cruet. I love using this in my kitchen. It makes me feel fancy even though I had no idea it was called a Cruet until I just looked this up on Amazon.

Bethany - Snack Factory White Chocolate & Peppermint Pretzel Crisps, She warned us that these were the type of snack where you would end up eating the whole bag if you weren't careful. I was skeptical. The flavor combo just didn't seem that great to me. I like white chocolate pretzels, but the added addition of the peppermint, seemed strange to me. I tried them nonetheless and I ate the whole bag. Case closed. This was the first year she introduced us to the e.l.f. products by giving us the e.l.f. eyelash curler, e.l.f. Liquid Lipstick and e.l.f. eye shadow. She also recommended hitting up the Contemporary Art Museum gift shop for unique gifts if you're local to the Cincinnati Area. I imagine that would apply to most any museum gift shop though. They always have cool stuff.

Jessie Daft - Target Limited Edition Pumpkin Soy candle. I am also a fan of their Evergreen scent for the holiday season.

Lauralee - Tony Chachere's Original Creole Seasoning. LL's husband is a Louisiana native and so she introduced us to this Louisiana treasure. You can use it in place of season salt or other "go to" seasonings in your pantry to give dishes a little kick. She also recommended the Ghiradelli Dark Chocolate Brownie Mix. Lauralee is an amazing baker and she says people prefer these box mix brownies to her made from scratch brownies. I'm not sure I believe that, but the Ghiradelli brownies are REALLY good.

Stephanie - Starbucks Gift Card. Can you really ever go wrong with a Starbucks card?

Kelly - This was a funny year for Kelly. Almost every year is funny for Kelly. This was her first time attending the Favorite Things party and so she wasn't clear on the instructions. Instead of buying 5 of the same thing she gave away 5 different things. She totally make more work for herself. Here were her 5 items! Trader Joe's Honey Mango Shave Cream, Trader Joe's Pumpkin Pancake and Muffin Mix, Five of her favorite recipes, Trader Joes Gift Card, Funny Punny thank you cards, Half Price books calendar with coupons. Way to go Kelly!

Ingrid is a gardener. Like a serious gardener. The plantings in and around her home are a thing to behold and instill deep feelings of inadequacy when I look at my sad weedflowerbeds. So, Ingrid knows how damaging it can be for your hands to dig in the dirt all the time. She shared her secret - Crabtree & Evelyn Gardener's Therapy Hand Cream. This stuff is magical. I've been using it ever since she shared it with us in 2012 and I still love it. They also have a scrub called hand recovery that works great in combination with the cream.

Jen introduced us to the Cable turtle. Its a cool little thing to tame the electronic cables in your life. The small size here would be most helpful with keeping charging cords and earbuds under control. What will they think of next?!

Amy - Charlie Harper notecards are beautiful to send in the mail, but Amy had an even better idea... cut off the back and frame the front of the card as cheap wall art! Brilliant!

Lisa loves a good nut mix so she recommended Ferris Coffee & Nut Company Mixed Nuts with dried Cranberries. Yum!

Hope 2012 gave you some good gift ideas! What's your favorite thing?

P.S. Some of the links in this post are affiliate links to my Amazon store, so if you click through and actually buy something through my Amazon link, the Heindl Haven will get a tiny percentage. You get a favorite thing and you support the Haven at the same time. Again... everybody wins! Happy shopping!